Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Growing Up

{I wrote this a few weeks ago before my birthday and forgot to share it so......}

I turn 25 years old in 2 hours and 5 minutes from now. Weird. 25. IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII. I've lived 5 segments of 5 years. A quarter of a century. If ages were rounded to the nearest whole(what? lol), I wouldn't be 20 now- I'd be 30! Then I'd actually be like....old. Ew.

I've been through a lot of different phases. I've lost interest in some things and grown to love others. And some things I've held on to since I was a small child. I guess that whole process is called growing up. But I feel like a lot of people have a warped idea of what "growing up" is. To some people, growing up is simply turning 18. To others, it is physically and mentally maturing. It can mean a lot of different things, but I feel that what is most important is what we learn to value in the process of growing older.

The people I respect most in this world are older people who have held on to their inner child for their entire lives. Sadly, we lost one of those people earlier this week- Robin Williams. He was such an incredible, kind person- brilliant and yes, a little mad. He said, "you're only given one little spark of madness. You musn't lose it." I believe the madness he spoke of is the imagination and wonder within every child. As a child gets older and is exposed to the wicked things that people are capable of, the imagination and wonder seem to fade. Life becomes all about work and survival. Every now and then we feel that spark ignite from something like a song or some kind of magical experience, but it soon fades again. Few people are able to actually hold on to that spark and those that do are called mad, crazy, irrational, and immature.

My whole life people have called me names or put labels on me. Depression, anxiety, bipolar, crazy, out of touch, irrational, poor social skills, lazy, mad- these are just a few things I can recall people saying about me. I could be crazy....Robin Williams may have been crazy- but I believe that the craziest people are the smartest. With all the wickedness and betrayal in the world, happiness and joy are things you have to create for yourself. Friends, nature, and music help, but in order to remove fear and bitterness from your mind you have to remove parts of reality. You have to believe in more than what you can see and know. For me, opening up even further to the possibilities of the unseen, the supernatural, magic, fairies, aliens, dragons and everything I've never seen with my eyes- brings me true joy and happiness. I love believing that when I die, I'm going to heaven where all these things are brought to life. Where the awful realities of this world no longer exists. Where it's impossible to hurt others. Where rape, murder, stealing, lying, deception, and pain aren't even words because they just don't exist. I thank God for the artists and musicians of this world that create magic and help me to  remember that there is more than what's on the news every night and that my "craziness" is a good thing.  I owe a massive "THANK YOU" to all the following authors, writers, directors, artists and musicians that helped shape who I am today and the music and art I create:
First and foremost, the mastermind behind the curtain- God, J.M. Barrie for Peter Pan, Lewis Carroll for Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton for absolutely everything, L. Frank Baum for the Wizard of Oz, Judy Garland for her belief in the rainbow, George Lucas for Star Wars, Audrey Hepburn for her contagious love for life and adventure, J.K. Rowling for Harry Potter, John Lennon for his vulnerability and faith, Walt Disney for giving the world a chance to experience magic, Mab Graves for her art, Margaret Keane, Robin Williams, R.L. Stine, Jack Black, Jim Carrey, and Hans Zimmer.
There are many, many, many more people but these are the ones that I felt have made a massive impact. I can only hope that the more birthdays I have, the more capable I become of helping others believe in something bigger through my own craziness, music, and art.

Asia Marie